I apologize in advanced for this rant, as it’s very heat of the moment.
I have struggled with the social aspects of social media ever since the world shifted from MySpace to Facebook. It feels like I can’t say anything without it being contentious, and no, before you bring out the pitchforks, I don’t mean “omg I said something bigoted and couldn’t get away with it.”
I left Facebook back in 2013 because while I was dating my now-wife, I posted a short, oozy “She said she loves me back! <3 <3” which blew up into some weird thing in our respective communities, from people at her church throwing a fit, her best friend ending up in tears that she wasn’t told first, her youth pastor bringing it up in class, people in my life that didn’t know her complaining that either they had planned on dating me or “why don’t you date someone more local?”.
From that moment, I felt like the magic of conversing online was truly dead, that nothing could be said without needless ramification.
I had not posted since then on any media, passively and quietly enjoying Reddit posts, scouring Instagram, and sharing funny or thought-provoking posts with my partner. Along came Lemmy, with all of the magic of the internet of old, and fellow nerdlings ready to discuss any tech or fandom my little heart could desire. A smaller group of folks, who know that in order to help keep the community alive, you should make an effort to be an active participant.
So I did.
Granted, I have not posted much (and before you go digging through my posts to see what scandalous things that I’ve said, note that this is not my only account, so this isn’t a datapool of only a handful of posts), but I’ve been trying to make an effort to join the discussion. Now, in real life, people have described me as charismatic and likeable, though it feels awkward to say it of myself, so you can imagine my surprise when the majority of my comments were responded to with rage, taking a flippant remark and mad that I didn’t come with sources and thorough research, or angry that I wouldn’t be on some bandwagon about what the best (name of function) company is.
I’ve seen several (no, I’m not including sources currently) posts on Lemmy regarding how to raise user engagement, and at the time of reading them, I got all excited and on-board with wanting to raise engagement, but with my recent experiences, I can no longer blame anyone that chooses not to participate. It’s all too easy for text to be misconstrued - where inflection and tonality of voice is missed. People are mad, and rightfully so, about anything, it could be the state of the world, your local governments, how someone else on the internet treated you, or your experience with a particular product, but I am a random person trying to make light conversation on a public platform. I am not your enemy, though I can’t blame others for assuming the worst of anything on the internet, a history of trolls and malicious actors have turned us into this.
I miss getting excited, rather than anxious, when I see that I have a reply.
I’ve seen great conversation on this platform, I know it’s out there, and I know Lemmy has a wonderful, intelligent, supportive, and amazing community, so I’d love to hear your thoughts. How can we, as people, remediate this conversational tension.
Thank you in advanced, and I love you all
Social media only works when you have something common to talk about.
On the forums of old, there was a topic to each individual forum. Motorcycles, knitting, whatever, you did not just dump photos of your kids and be done with it, you talked about motorcycles or knitting. It was meaningful, you learned something new from it, so the conversation had value.
On Facebook it’s the gossip about your family and ex classmates, and non-stop boasting about your overseas vacations. It attracts certain public, who cannot hold a meaningful conversation about motorcycles or knitting, it’s all about getting an ego boost after comparing yourself to your ex classmates.
Reddit was like the reboot of forums, which were becoming overrun with spam and typically had tiny userbase. All the talk about motorcycles and knitting, from everyone on the planet, all together in one place, good! Except that it was designed for marketing and corporate abuse, so you got russian trolls guiding every conversation into trumpvoting.
Lemmy is like that but without the corporate part. Userbase is still quite small, but users here are of better quality, with much fewer bots. I have a lot of hope for it.
So, you will get better conversations out of social media if people reading your posts get something useful out of them, either emotions or a new knowledge. A bit of hate is expected, people get pissed off for no reason, just ignore it like the interwebs veteran you are.
So yeah, I don’t know much about knitting, so, back to motorcycles. You can buy an electrical scooter for city use for really cheap, like, $1000 for something new with two seats and 50 km range, and you often don’t even need a driver’s license, because electric motorcycles below a specific power rating are considered the same as bicycles, depending on your local laws. The problem, you need a garage for it. Not because it will get rusty in the rain or snow, modern bikes are quite waterproof. No, it’s because it will get stolen, no matter what kind of lock and alarm you put on it, or it will get wheels screwed off. And if you live in the middle of the city, a bare cargo container garage going for $10 000 is cheap, depending on a country. So, you buy a motorcycle when you live in a house on a private piece of land where you can park it. When you live in an high-rise apartment, you buy a car like everyone else and fight for a parking spot on a nearby street each evening.
So yeah, I don’t know much about knitting, so, back to motorcycles. You can buy an electrical scooter for city use for really cheap, like, $1000 for something new with two seats and 50 km range, and you often don’t even need a driver’s license, because electric motorcycles below a specific power rating are considered the same as bicycles, depending on your local laws. The problem, you need a garage for it. Not because it will get rusty in the rain or snow, modern bikes are quite waterproof. No, it’s because it will get stolen, no matter what kind of lock and alarm you put on it, or it will get wheels screwed off. And if you live in the middle of the city, a bare cargo container garage going for $10 000 is cheap, depending on a country. So, you buy a motorcycle when you live in a house on a private piece of land where you can park it. When you live in an high-rise apartment, you buy a car like everyone else and fight for a parking spot on a nearby street each evening.
I’ve seen ebikes where you can just pull out the battery and take it home with you; I’d risk that will cool off the enthusiasm to nick it.
If one can, those escooters can be an option, being foldable.
But your bottom line is accurate: as it is, modern cities don’t have the required parking space for these new mobility solutions.
E-bicycle is a good option, however folding models cost 1.5x more than a typical e-motorcycle, and have less range.
Just checked my market offer on e-bicycles (starting at €2500) and the prices are similar to an e-bike. I would go for the e-bike. Ranges are between 100 and 150km.
The internet is whatever you make of it. IMO is easier than ever to create what you want. The early internet was pretty care free because the technological competency hurdle, but now your every retired boomer has turned from sitting on their porch and yelling at children to sitting in social media and yelling at everyone they disagree with.
Do you prefer quantity or quality? I think people have become disillusioned by the quantity of post2014 internet. If you were on forums back pre2010 try and remember the experience. I knew everyone on the forum by their username. I knew what they were probably going to post before they posted it. Making communities like that now takes like 5 minutes to make a discord server then a few weeks to find like minded people.
Well, I got my pitchfork out. Where is the hay?
I understand and agree with your point of view and to a degree our journeys into social media share some parallels.
I moved to Lemmy hoping to leave behind at least some part of the dark and caustic mood reddit has by default and, to a degree, it has happened but as you say, people are angry - rightfully so - but in their anger, anyone is a viable outlet for it, for the pettiest or non existant of reasons.
Not having a solution or suggestion in how to solve or at least alleviate this problem you describe and I’ll risk many more feel, as someone who tries to participate in topics that tease my brain, regardless of the outcome I’ll receive for my words: say what you understand as true and valid, apply the sage in the mountain wisdom (“you’re right”) and move forward, until you feel you don’t have anything else to add.
dark and caustic mood reddit has by default
This is such good wording, each Social Media seems to have its own default mentality behind the reading and writing of its posts, and rarely is it positive.
(“you’re right”) and move forward
This is excellent advice that I’m trying to apply, I’m happy to accept when I’m wrong, but it’s exhausting to be berated for participation then it’s on me to apologize for having participated and not committed hours to ensuring I’ve done all of my homework on any given topic, or forbid I misspell a word, the cardinal sin!!
Thank you for your empathy, participation, and words of insight!
Social media is dead, it’s just advertising platforms now. If it’s not corporate advertising, then the users are essentially being encouraged to advertise themselves for “engagement”.
There are those of us trying to find ways to return to the "smolnet’. And I do feel we are on the cusp of a renaissance.
I too have enjoyed Lemmy, because of it’s smaller userbase. But also because it’s a lot of nerds, with particular interests, who want to talk about or share said interests.
Speaking of special interests, forums and bulletin boards are still alive and breathing. You kind of have to seek them out according to your interests, but they definitely scratch an itch when you find a couple good ones that interest you.
IRC is also still alive (on life support) and more difficult to navigate than forums, in my experience. Lots and lots of dead channels and servers to sift through. My biggest wish in the internet world is for IRC to see a resurgence.