For context, I’ve been on the fence about going on HRT.
During my therapy session today, I was talking about some of the fears I have about going on HRT. Up until now, I’ve been trying to ease myself into transitioning because I do have my doubts and I don’t want to rush into the wrong decision.
I’ve been “crossdressing” (what does one call this if they think they’re trans?) on and off for a while now, and I’ve been in therapy about dysphoria for a few months now, but HRT is still a big decision that I didn’t want to influence myself toward if I didn’t need it. I didn’t go by female pronouns, didn’t experiment with names, hesitated to call myself trans until I soul searched a bit more and knew. I think that’s partially due to fear of being ostracized by my family or affected by the horrible legislation attempting to go around in America right now, or really just rushing into something big like that in general.
Lately, I’ve been leaning toward wanting to go on HRT. I’ve been searching for clinics to freeze my sperm and I’ve found a couple of sources for HRT, just to have everything sorted if I decide to start transitioning. Today, when I was going over my fears with my therapist, I just blurted out
“Fuck, if I had gone on HRT when I was 18 then I would just be a woman by now. Dammit.”
Right after I said that, I realized exactly what I had said and what emotions I was actually expressing. I think it took me forever to admit it but I definitely want HRT. I want to be a woman. I’m scared still, in many ways, but I think this is the path for me and I want to embrace all the joys and struggles which come alongside transitioning. So that said, I’d like to ask any of you girls on HRT, what were some unexpected trials and happy moments during the process?
I turn 23 this December, and it would be amazing if I could start HRT before then. It’s doable, I have to hunt down some good sperm banks first because I still want biological kids someday. My main fear right now (and I do apologize to you non-American Lemmy users that are sick of hearing about this) is this damnable upcoming election. I don’t believe that team Trump will go down quietly if Harris wins, but it would ease my mind greatly if I knew I didn’t have to navigate my transition with a 2nd Trump administration breathing down my neck. How are you other American girls dealing with that? I’m almost at the point where I say fuck it all and live my life. So close…
but do I want to paint a target on myself?
Idk. Thanks for reading my thought spew, it helps to get it out in writing sometimes.
”crossdressing”
Dressing comfortably. Being yourself.
I would just be a woman by now
You are a woman.
I’m a decade older than you. None of the women in my family can take estrogen, even for birth control, due to clotting issues. I can’t speak to what HRT is like, I’m just here to say that it’s not for everyone and you don’t need it to be a girl. You already are a woman. Trans people have existed for all of human history. HRT is extremely recent. There are many valid ways to be trans.
Your language implies that you don’t think that a transition is valid without some high-tech medical/pharmaceutical intervention. This is not an uncommon view. Unfortunately, the historically traditional ways of transitioning have been systematically snuffed out by Abrahamic extremists over the past several centuries. I for one would love it if more of the trans community embraced reviving these traditional transition methods. I often feel very alone trying to explore alternative options because all of the other trans people jump straight to the drugs. I get it: it’s super easy and effective.
I don’t fully agree with your assessment of the political landscape. The major problem with HRT is that once you’re on it, you need it or else you’ll get bone issues and premature menopause. Unstable political landscapes mean that the health of many trans people can be seriously impacted by laws changing access to drugs. Being hooked on drugs makes you dependent on fragile healthcare systems that Trumpists have already demonstrated that they are willing to fuck with (look at Roe). There are other health impacts that should not be downplayed and which you should take seriously with your doctor. That said, HRT makes “passing” easier, which means you are less likely to be the victim of political violence, and it can make you a less obvious target for hate crimes.
If you choose to go on HRT, I’ll be jealous but happy for you. Don’t treat the decision as a necessary prerequisite to being a trans woman. If it’s right for you, and you’ve carefully made sure that you can live with the medical impacts and dependency on a crumbling healthcare system in an unstable political landscape, go for it.