Do people feel like you can’t say if it’s a girl or a boy before they’re old enough to express some preference? That seems to be the thing people pick on with gender reveal parties but that doesn’t really make sense to me if you’re cool with “It’s a girl. We’re going to name her Alice.” without the party. It’s not like the party is usually hyper fixated on gender roles. You cut some cake or pop some balloons during a pretty normal family party. Sex chromosomes/genitals are one of the only unique things you really learn about the baby before they’re here that isn’t generally considered bad news. I guess we could have height percentile parties?
The problem is that if you do away with gender roles, then a gender reveal party turns into a baby vagina/penis reveal party. It’s a creepy concept that is only normalized because of society’s hyper fixation on gender roles and we should just get rid of it.
Very often at this point, expectant parents are basing it on the presence of a Y chromosome or not, not on genitals. Does that take the creepiness out for you?
Do you have a problem with them disclosing the gender of their children at all?
They’re not disclosing the gender of their children. They also don’t take a blood test to find out the chromoses, they literally have a doctor look at the baby’s crotch with an ultrasound and throw a party based on what they see.
People do often take a blood test on Mom which will include some fraction of fetal DNA. They can do a blood test where they just check if there’s any Y chromosome (sneak peek) or they can take a blood test which is to check for chromosomal abnormalities which also happens to tell you the sex chromosomes (NIPT). These happen much earlier than you can tell via looking at genitals on ultrasound and is increasingly becoming how people find out the sex of their baby.
People very often say they are having a girl or a boy and give them a gendered name. Do you have an issue with that?
NIPT is not nearly as widely used as you’re making it out to be. And names aren’t gendered. You sound like that reporter asking David Bowie if he’s wearing bisexual shoes.
NIPT is now standard care in the US. It is covered by insurance and offered to every pregnant person. I didn’t say everyone gets it, just that it’s increasingly used. Something like 25%-50% of people do it and it’s growing in popularity. You haven’t answered if that would take the creepiness out
Most names are definitely gendered. If they weren’t, changing your name when transitioning wouldn’t be so incredibly common. You might think they’re unnecessarily gendered, but they are currently gendered. You also haven’t answered if you’re ok with expectant parents and parents of infants telling people the kid is a girl or a boy without the party.
I might guess with such a party you really reinforce everyone’s image of the baby’s sex and they might be less accepting if the person comes out as a different gender further down the line? Idk
Doesn’t really matter. The moment the people hear it’s male or female, determines how people will treat the baby. Put a baby boy in pink and don’t tell people, and people will talk to him like they would to a girl.
Whether or not people accept the small chance that the kid turns out transgender, depends on their personal views. I doubt a gebder reveal party is significant. Besides, it’s a party for the parents to be. Not the baby.
I absolutely get that, but I thought, perhaps making such a big deal out of the baby’s sex might set some large expectations pretty early on. Not only in the parents’ minds, but all the family that attends.
i mean it’s certainly going to be a bit of a bummer if they end up wanting to transition, kinda like how it sucks to be branded as “gifted” in school and then falling behind and unable to get a job.
I don’t think the gender reveal party adds to that in any way. It doesn’t matter to the kid and everyone else in the kids life is going to still have the anticipatory moment of finding out their assigned birth gender even if it’s just the parents/doctor telling them. The gender reveal party is such a minor thing years down the line; it’s not like a wedding or something. It’s like saying that theming your kid’s 2nd birthday party Bluey and them deciding they don’t like Bluey when they turn 10 is going to be such a bummer.
Do people feel like you can’t say if it’s a girl or a boy before they’re old enough to express some preference? That seems to be the thing people pick on with gender reveal parties but that doesn’t really make sense to me if you’re cool with “It’s a girl. We’re going to name her Alice.” without the party. It’s not like the party is usually hyper fixated on gender roles. You cut some cake or pop some balloons during a pretty normal family party. Sex chromosomes/genitals are one of the only unique things you really learn about the baby before they’re here that isn’t generally considered bad news. I guess we could have height percentile parties?
The problem is that if you do away with gender roles, then a gender reveal party turns into a baby vagina/penis reveal party. It’s a creepy concept that is only normalized because of society’s hyper fixation on gender roles and we should just get rid of it.
Very often at this point, expectant parents are basing it on the presence of a Y chromosome or not, not on genitals. Does that take the creepiness out for you?
Do you have a problem with them disclosing the gender of their children at all?
They’re not disclosing the gender of their children. They also don’t take a blood test to find out the chromoses, they literally have a doctor look at the baby’s crotch with an ultrasound and throw a party based on what they see.
People do often take a blood test on Mom which will include some fraction of fetal DNA. They can do a blood test where they just check if there’s any Y chromosome (sneak peek) or they can take a blood test which is to check for chromosomal abnormalities which also happens to tell you the sex chromosomes (NIPT). These happen much earlier than you can tell via looking at genitals on ultrasound and is increasingly becoming how people find out the sex of their baby.
People very often say they are having a girl or a boy and give them a gendered name. Do you have an issue with that?
NIPT is not nearly as widely used as you’re making it out to be. And names aren’t gendered. You sound like that reporter asking David Bowie if he’s wearing bisexual shoes.
NIPT is now standard care in the US. It is covered by insurance and offered to every pregnant person. I didn’t say everyone gets it, just that it’s increasingly used. Something like 25%-50% of people do it and it’s growing in popularity. You haven’t answered if that would take the creepiness out
Most names are definitely gendered. If they weren’t, changing your name when transitioning wouldn’t be so incredibly common. You might think they’re unnecessarily gendered, but they are currently gendered. You also haven’t answered if you’re ok with expectant parents and parents of infants telling people the kid is a girl or a boy without the party.
I might guess with such a party you really reinforce everyone’s image of the baby’s sex and they might be less accepting if the person comes out as a different gender further down the line? Idk
Doesn’t really matter. The moment the people hear it’s male or female, determines how people will treat the baby. Put a baby boy in pink and don’t tell people, and people will talk to him like they would to a girl.
Whether or not people accept the small chance that the kid turns out transgender, depends on their personal views. I doubt a gebder reveal party is significant. Besides, it’s a party for the parents to be. Not the baby.
I absolutely get that, but I thought, perhaps making such a big deal out of the baby’s sex might set some large expectations pretty early on. Not only in the parents’ minds, but all the family that attends.
Those expectatioms will be there regardless and depend largly on the culture and people. A gender reveal won’t add much I think.
i mean it’s certainly going to be a bit of a bummer if they end up wanting to transition, kinda like how it sucks to be branded as “gifted” in school and then falling behind and unable to get a job.
I don’t think the gender reveal party adds to that in any way. It doesn’t matter to the kid and everyone else in the kids life is going to still have the anticipatory moment of finding out their assigned birth gender even if it’s just the parents/doctor telling them. The gender reveal party is such a minor thing years down the line; it’s not like a wedding or something. It’s like saying that theming your kid’s 2nd birthday party Bluey and them deciding they don’t like Bluey when they turn 10 is going to be such a bummer.