My sister (Rae) died unexpectedly at age 33. When Rae died, she was still under “no contact” rules from my aunt (Gin) who felt slighted by not having a ticket for her husband to Rae’s college graduation. I never understood another reason for the break.

At Rae’s rosary, Aunt Gin called to say she couldn’t find me or my other sibling, despite it being a very small gathering. That would have been a 6 hour drive (one way), and I literally ran out to the parking lot to try and find my aunt. (I’m pretty convinced that she never showed.)

A week after Rae’s funeral, I started the drive home (a 36 hour drive) , and called my Aunt Gin to see if she would let me and my dog stay with her. Aunt Gin was amenable. Shortly after that call, my Dad and Brother confirmed that they would also be in town. I called my Aunt to see if she would be okay to house my dog while I finally had an opportunity to be alone with my dad and sibling for a dinner out. She called me back to say that if I preferred to have dinner with “them,” I should book a hotel.

I knew the request was slightly rude when I asked, and even mentioned it in my voicemail. That said, it has always felt like a relationship ending statement to ask me to book a (pet friendly) hotel at the last minute, especially under the circumstances.

Was ITAH by asking to have a separate dinner with my brother and father?