Moose when he gets home to his wife and foals: You would not believe the day I’m having

Moose’s wife: * hides the divorce pinecones *

I’m partial to a peanut butter burger, which also comes with mayonnaise and thin pickles sliced long-ways.

Turns out the guy was named Christian Griepenkerl and he died in 1912, so… maybe waiting in line at the pearly gates, he might have gotten pulled to the side for Secondary Security Screening Selection.

I mean at the end of the day, Who Gives a Fuck About an Oxford Comma?

I had to stop and explain what was wrong to my 4yo niece earlier because the Frozen II book I was reading to her had an apostrophe in “sister’s” when it was meant to be plural.