Go on go on go on go on go on

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Cake day: June 13th, 2023

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  • A couple of times I’ve travelled Air NZ route that goes London-Auckland via LAX. The plane has to stop to refuel I guess. All the passengers are forced to queue up to be fingerprinted and have their eyeballs scanned, while a security guard walks up and down screaming “STAY IN THE LINE!” Then they’re herded into a lounge barely big enough to hold everyone (first class passengers have their own little pen next to the toilets). Apologetic air crew distribute apples, crisps and bottles of water. For hours. Through a glass wall is a view of the rest of the airport: shops, cafes, bars, space to stroll. But hey, at least you get to not miss your flight, and the US is safe from Kiwi tourists.

    I don’t know if they still do this, I avoid the route.












  • You could opt out of being in the phone book. I had to do this because a crazy woman who had had a teacher by the same name as me, in the same suburb as me, kept ringing me. First call she said, “Guess who this is?” Dunno. By the tenth call that first day she was yelling down the phone that I was a liar, asking me “Why are you being like this?!?” Because I was never your teacher! No caller id back then, so I had to keep right on answering. One time I picked up and shouted “FUCK OFF!” and yeah it was a work colleague, that was awkward.





  • My refund was for a pack of tomatoes, boring! So I’ll tell you a funny refund story I heard today. Friends, mostly a bit squiffy (driver aside) were trying to book a hotel at their destination on booking.com. There were rooms available in hotel A. “Check the reviews” said Ms Sober. “Nah, just book it!” said Ms Squiffy.

    Booking made, they tried to contact the hotel. No answer. Reviews were AWFUL. “Rats behind the bar” type awful. Fast forward to arrival aaaand the hotel was closed. They moved on to hotel B, where they learned that hotel A was shut because the owner was in jail for repeated violation of food hygiene standards.

    So they called booking.com for a refund. “We can’t refund you until we’ve heard from the proprietor.” “The proprietor is in PRISON.” “Well we’d still like to give a chance to get in touch.”

    It took them weeks to get their money back. Moral of the story is always try to book directly with the hotel.

    I just had a look and apparently it’s back in business.

    Review from this month: “Refused to stay, checked in 3 rooms & all checked out within 10mins of arrival, the disgusting place is a health hazard, taps not working, mould all over walls, the place needs closing down.”

    Owner: “Sorry this not true just looking for refunds.”