• 0 Posts
  • 5 Comments
Joined 10 months ago
cake
Cake day: April 8th, 2024

help-circle

  • Thank you for making space in meetings. Thank you for all of it, but especially that.

    It’s difficult to have faith in your own voice when it’s consistently drowned out - especially in those subtle ways it happens in meetings.

    Early in my career, I worked with a man who would consistently refer back to a woman who had been interrupted. He always made it seem organic and I don’t think most of the men even realized it was happening. But the women noticed the pattern. I know I’m not the only woman who learned to be more comfortable advocating for myself, thanks to him.



  • The first time he loses his temper and screams how stupid you are is shocking. And then he apologizes and love-bombs and you write it off as a one-time bad day, confident it won’t happen again. The next time when he screams how useless you are, the love bomb and apology are accompanied with a perfectly calm and logical (and apologetic) explanation of how you made him lose his cool and if you just wouldn’t X, he wouldn’t get so mad… Eventually when he screams and calls you names, you are the one apologizing and begging forgiveness…

    By the time he actually hits you, you are already convinced that you are the problem and if you just wouldn’t make him so mad, he wouldn’t lose his cool - and you’re so worthless and useless and bad at life that you are lucky he wants you at all and no one else would even give you the time a day…