You could argue that, but are these personal benefits not just checks from lobbyists? And does this power not come largely from the leverage they gain expanding their influence in order to justify bigger checks?

I can only imagine the feeling of having such a weight lifted off your shoulders and conscience. It must feel almost like a fresh start, because in a way it is. Or at least that’s how it sounds to me, being able to progress in a meaningful way without such major hindrances.

I’m glad to hear you got to see such a favourable outcome after such a long and turbulent period, and I’m genuinely happy for you and your church, that you get to make progress in making your community better for everyone. It sounds like you all have the best of things to look forward to already, but I wish you all the best anyway.

Good news has been a bit hard to come by lately, so it’s extraordinarily refreshing to hear some for a change. So cheers, and thanks again for sharing.

Wow. Yeah that sounds like a rough ride, I’m sorry you and so many others were dragged through the coals like that for so long. It sounds like things were at a point where a split like that was probably necessary unfortunately, maybe even entirely unavoidable from the sound of it.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and congratulations on a more unified (and moral) stance on these issues. I hope your church can finally and more easily move forward without the weight of the interference, pressure, and influence these fringe actors had been exercising in the past several years.

Good on you. It’s always refreshing to hear from Christian folks who have a strong enough moral compass to steer away from (let alone actively support direct opponents of) some of the more zealous or bigoted views which unfortunately seem to be growing stronger in the Christian community as of late.

I say this from the outside looking in, as I’ve never been associated with any church myself, so this viewpoint of mine may just be the result of an increasingly active vocal minority.

But I’m very curious to hear your experience as someone within the community; have you yourself seen growth in these types of zealous or bigoted views in the past several years within the Christian Community? Things like stronger, more vocal, or even unwavering support of anti-abortion or anti-LGBTQ laws/practices?

I’ve had a chili dark chocolate ice cream before that was obscenely delicious. The cold and creamy chocolate almost completely dampened and soothed the burn from the chili, then the spice would slowly intensify, a little more with every bite. I was helplessly addicted down to the last bite.

If I ever see that available again, I can’t imagine I’d even consider anything else. Unless I maybe saw some sort of chili lime sorbet, but I’ve never come across one.

Cheetos and tabasco flavored ice cream however, are both just so far in the wrong direction. Absolutely foul.

I could see a Wikipedia-style donation model working to keep lots of different servers up. But I can’t see it happening for servers hosting exclusively news + memes + whatever random communities people want to add.

I _could _ see it happening for dedicated broad-topic or semi-niche instances (instances for gaming, investing, Linux, music production, etc.) each hosting a collection of related and maybe more niche communities (for CSGO, Bitcoin, Arch, EDM production).

As they become more popular, server hosting costs increase, and at some point they might need to ask for donations to keep afloat. People are willing to throw a little money towards something they enjoy, especially if it’s their choice to do so. And they feel good about it. And instances that stay around longer gain more users, more usability, more credibility (assuming a non-toxic community).

I could definitely see it leading down a path of growth and prosperity for the platform. However, now that I typed this out, I could see it both working positively, and being abused and exploited, so 🤷

I can practically guarantee that people who say they hate tea haven’t tried brewing any kind of loose leaf tea at the proper temp and time.

I got a 1kg brick of the cheapest loose-leaf black tea I could find for ~$3.50, and it’s delicious. I drink it almost every day, I bought it in June last year, and I’m just now running low. I brewed a bag lipton black tea at work recently, took one sip and I dumped it the fuck out. Absolutely foul, that stuff.

So I can see why people hate tea if they’ve only ever tried cheap bags with boiling water

They’re all competing for recruits.

Wow, I didn’t even consider that. It makes them seem so much less human to me, and so much more like a pack of hyenas.

Huh, we had 7 for our school district (one for each branch, and I think the army and navy had two), but my high school alone did have just under 3000 kids.

We had all 7 of these guys (and one woman) going from class to class every day for a month giving four 90-minute presentations per day to pander and force-feed each individual classroom of ~30-50 students a glorified recruitment ad. They even set up one of the portable classrooms as a recruitment office for that month.

I’m curious, did the recruiters hand out forms to kids under 18 that required parent/guardian signatures?

I’m asking because ours did, and I could swear that these forms were a sort of pre-enlistment contract that needed parent/guardian signature in order to waive the 18+ requirement for agreeing to enlist. So although we wouldn’t actually be enlisted until we turned 18, we could agree to enlist beforehand with a parent’s signature. But, as strong as that memory is, I still can’t help but doubt myself because of how insane and illegal that all sounds.

Sure, but they return it as well for a refund or new item. Both the seller and new buyer get reimbursed in full by amazon. Plus, it makes amazon a worse place to shop overall, and I don’t think is a bad thing if irritated customers choose another site to shop from, loosening the near-monopolistic grip they have on online shopping.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a shitty and immoral thing to do, generally speaking. It would make me feel guilty thinking about the poor schmuck who gets whatever junk I send as a return. I’ve been the guy who receives a busted piece of shit in my “new” package from amazon, and it’s irritating as hell. But I think amazon suffers most from that type of shitty behavior because it poisons the overall trust people have in them, and makes it more inconvenient to use amazon’s services.

So you might disagree, and that’s fine, but it’s because of the negative impact that shitty immoral behavior has on amazon that makes me feel 0% guilty overall, and hope the same scummy return scheme spreads like a plague to a point where amazon and wish have a similarly iffy reputation. Because I think they deserve to fall from their throne.

What a disgusting video.

Greedy, manipulative, despicable behaviour like this is why I take no issue with people who just repair their broken things by ordering a new one on amazon and sending the broken one as a return for a full refund. I’m not sure how a person could even feel remorse while pissing in the face of a company pushing shit like this into their employee’s faces.

A surprising amount of people I know like to upgrade their graphics cards this way, returning their old card in the new box, getting free cutting-edge upgrades as soon as they become available on amazon’s dime. Seems to have worked pretty well for them over the years 🤷

It’s unfortunate how often it is that the best solution is to combine the powers of 2 sites that have been (not so) recently dipping their toes into the “detestable corporations” side of things.

I share the same sentiment, but the problem is finding a better “elsewhere”.

Google search used to be so far beyond the capabilities of all other search engines, but lately it’s been closing that gap from the top down. Even in its enshittified state, it still outperforms the other search engines out there more consistently, albeit just barely.

That’s my experience anyway, I would love to be introduced to something better if anyone happens to have suggestions!

Lots of people still think that introverts hate social interactions, or feel better without any social interactions at all, but we do need to be social. Some people get dogs or cats and that helps them a lot. But lots of introverted people will tend to find some way to mask the loneliness by distracting themselves that requires a lot of attention, or occupying themselves with something that emulates social interaction. Playing a game while watching twitch streams of that game can fill both of those roles, listening to the streamer and reading chat periodically. That can work in a pinch, but it’s not a real solution. And I don’t have a real solution, aside from “find your balance”, but I know that’s not helpful.

I can suggest something that I found to be a more effective distraction, though. And it even could lead to the first steps to a solution to introvert loneliness if you’re lucky. You can try going to a local bar/pub on a slow day. It helps if you drink alcohol, but you really don’t have to. And of course if there’s a history of alcoholism in your family, you should definitely avoid the alcohol. Make sure to sit at the bar, because a lot of bartenders will start up conversation with lone patrons in their down-time, and the same goes for drunk people getting up to buy another drink, so you don’t have to initiate if you don’t want to. You can end up having a few interesting conversations in a night (or sometimes none at all), and go home either feeling good about going out on your own free will (I.E. Not being forced into a social situation), or exhausted from any overbearing social interactions and therefore a bit more content with going back to spending time by yourself for a while.

This helped me before I made a couple of friends (who I met at the pub) while living alone in a new city, after my distractions got stale. I say it’s worth a try, but everyone is different.

It was hard to initiate that first trip to the bar though, it felt very, very weird. But halfway through my second beer, I felt mostly content with even just listening passively to background conversation. By the time I ordered the 3rd, the bartender had initiated conversation, and before I knew it that feeling of loneliness was gone. It’s important to keep moderation in mind though, I could see that being very effective in catalysing a drinking problem. I did this 2-3 times per month, and that was just enough for me.

So ymmv, but it helped me a lot.

May not be interesting or new info (and the comments section of an ADHD meme are probably not the place for this anyway), but I just recently learned a very plausible reason why the trifecta seems to be so prevalent:

Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).

It’s essentially an abnormally strong negative emotional response to rejection or failure, and it’s very common in people with ADHD.

“Rejection sensitive dysphoria, while not a formal diagnosis, is also a common symptom of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, estimated to affect a majority of people with ADHD.” Source (Wikipedia)

Basically, people with RSD go about their days constantly and disproportionately anxious about doing everyday things. If they make an absentminded mistake (which of course happens all the time with ADHD), they’ll feel bad about themselves for it out of fear of disapproval from those around them, which only feeds the anxiety even more. If they mess up something more serious, it can be devastating.

Here’s another link with some great info under the “Symptoms and Causes” section:

• It’s very easy for them to feel embarrassed or self-conscious.

• They show signs of low self-esteem and trouble believing in themselves.

• They have trouble containing emotions when they feel rejected. This is often noticeable in children and teenagers with this condition. Some may react with sudden shows of anger or rage, while others may burst into tears.

• Instead of losing control of their emotions outwardly, some people with RSD may turn their feelings inward. This can look like a snap onset of severe depression, and sometimes, it’s mistaken for sudden emotional shifts that can happen with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder.

• They’re often “people pleasers” and become intensely focused on avoiding the disapproval of others.

• They may avoid starting projects, tasks or goals where there’s a chance of failure.

• They compensate for their fear of failure or rejection by going all-out or striving for perfectionism. However, the downside of this is that they often experience intense anxiety and may not easily make self-care or downtime a priority.

So to sum it up, RSD affects a majority of people with ADHD, and can amplify anxiety due to fear of rejection/failure in many different forms, and any eventual rejections/failures that do materialise are met with a disproportionately negative emotional response.

Shit sucks.

I’ll share some anecdotes below if anyone is interested, but the TL;DR is that it has an extremely strong effect on me, and I imagine someone might be able to relate, if they care enough to read lol.

Last semester, I failed all 3 of my classes because I couldn’t keep up with the school work due to problems with my (at the time undiagnosed) ADHD. I remember falling behind and getting increasingly anxious about all the work I needed to catch up on, which only made me procrastinate my studies even more in order to hide from the anxiety and fear of failure/rejection that I knew I would feel when I became overwhelmed. I felt like an absolute idiot, especially because I recognised that logically, further procrastinating made absolutely no sense at all, and was definitely going to lead to failure in my classes. It got so bad that I could NOT make myself sit down and study, I was paralysed with anxiety every time I opened my laptop to study after working up the courage to make myself “just fucking start already”.

As the exams came closer, it became more and more apparent that failure was now the only option I had left. As that reality set in and I had to face this failure, the self-image I like to create of myself as a respectable and relatively smart person just dissolved. I felt the self-rejection engulfing me, I imagined the disappointment from my family and peers, and I became cripplingly depressed within maybe 90 seconds of reality setting in. I felt absolutely worthless for months afterwards, lower than low. This is what finally got me to make the doctor’s appointment which led to my ADHD diagnosis.

And something not so serious that happened years ago: While driving to work one day, I was running a tad late as usual, and couldn’t shake the feeling that I was forgetting something. It was really stressing me out, and anxiety was making me try frantically to remember what it was, because the longer it took me to realise what I forgot, the longer the drive back would take, and the later I would be for work. At some point I decided to just take inventory of everything I had and see if it felt off. I started with the 3 pocket check— wallet is there, phone is there, keys are… Shit, I forgot my keys.

So I took the next exit to turn around, and raced home for my keys. I didn’t realise for maybe 10 minutes that my keys weren’t in my pocket because, well, they were in the ignition of my car, which I was currently driving. That dumb little setback caused me to be late for work. I still remember the shame I felt driving back, deciding on what lie to tell my boss so I didn’t have to admit how much of a idiot I am. To make things worse, after I parked my car I discovered that I had forgotten my knife bag at home (I was working as a chef). It really made me feel absolutely worthless, and triggered a bit of depression afterwards. I can’t remember how long the depression lasted, but it definitely hit me harder than it should have.

You can always pirate it. I mean you DID buy it so it’s not “stealing” if you’re playing a cracked version that only thinks you’re online at all times

And even it is “stealing”, fuck 'em 🤷

Personally, I think “lemming” is infinitely better than “fedditor”.