Been meditating for years, and it took me a long time to realize that excitement is not happiness. But closer to what Buddhism calls restlessness and worry. And it tends to cycle with sloth and torpor in a pattern very similar to what we call bipolar.
Manic episodes, for me, are when the excitement keeps going without any rest. Exhaustion occurs. And delirium sets in.
I don’t find any of these states pleasurable (i.e. euphoric). Joy is what I equate closest to euphoria. An overflowing abundance of positive feelings shared with others. I imagine if we got worried or restless hanging onto that positive feeling, it could play a role in the cycle though.
Happiness is calm, restful. A lack of restlessness, anger, sloth and torpor, etc. Contentedness is a synonym for happy.
Anger/Desire, are, at base, aversion and attachment. If I’m attached to joy or angry at my depression, those are additional factors that keep us caught in the cycle.
How was I being a puritan? I used language throughout that demonstrated I was speaking from my own experience and sharing my own understanding.
All language points at people’s real experiences and understanding. And how I define a word, such as excitement and happiness, affects my understanding of what is possible. I thought they were synonyms for many years, growing up in a consumer capitalist culture, it’s kinda what I was fed by advertising and my environment. Eventually, I learned to delineate them. And found, in my own experience, they’re not the same.
If you use different words and have a different understanding of your lived experience, more power to you.