balancing seriousness and playfulness, exploration and diligence, being an individual and a network node

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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: February 22nd, 2024

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  • If you desire romantic companionship, start by making non-romantic friends?

    I tend to agree. For me, an otherwise unfulfilled person looking for a fulfilling successful romantic relationship is kind of like a poor person trying to become a millionaire. You should take care of your basic needs before aiming for something that, probably, few people ever realistically get to have.

    That said, overwhelmingly, what I want is friendship (love and understanding) but it’s much, much harder to find ways to meet people for friendship than a romantic relationship. There is no friendship app on the same level as the dating apps. People who want to get in my pants text back much more reliably than potential friends I meet even irl. I shouldn’t complain because having a lot of suitors is a pleasant problem to have but I work unsociable hours and on more days than I care to admit, the only human contact I get outside of work is on dating apps, which is not a happy situation for me.


  • It’s precisely bc it’s such a huge topic that i’m reaching out for help lol! Region doesn’t matter but my immediate interest is closer to the aesthetic than the academic side of the spectrum atm, so I’m looking for visual highlights more than other kinds of salience/importance. I just need a rundown of what’s iconic (or looks like it ought to be)


















  • tributarium@lemmy.worldtoBooks@lemmy.worldBookwyrm
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    5 months ago

    what benefits do people see from tracking their reading? why do you do it? I couldn’t see the appeal years ago & had some hangups about it (like an overjustification effect psychologically from the social aspect of it messing up my motivation to read) but I’ve since gone through periods of tracking my spending & my food & seen benefits from those.





  • I realise now what I was getting at in the OP is how people massage themselves into a state of inspiration where they can maximise their engagement and what they get out of the book and the beauty of it and open their hearts to it or whatever, and how they interact with the text when they’re in that state. I realised this because I had the unusual honour of experiencing a state of inspiration the other night. Life feels pretty much dull and my heart feels pretty much shut to suggestion most of the time. What actually got me there was a completely unrelated life event (whose enchantment has already long since dried out). Seems like a work of art is the seed but the soil is life itself–how you read might be, at best, the water, so my question maybe isn’t of much use if we live in a world of concrete. I hope there’s more we can do that’s under our own control but it doesn’t seem that way now to me. (edited to rephrase a few times)


  • I’ve always wanted to learn to sing, ever since I was a kid. I even started taking lessons before I went through a major life change that pushed all of that aside. I meant to come back to it but I realised recently it just doesn’t matter to me enough to pursue it compared to other things I want to achieve. And it really never became fun for me: it seems like the only way to improve is to 1) make it a team sport, which isn’t an option for me, 2) start improving from when you’re young enough that you’re not self-conscious, or 3) painfully just listen to yourself be awful until you improve as an adult. Which is totally 100% doable, but pretty joyless & not worth the time investment for me rn.