I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • zante@lemmy.wtf
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    2 months ago

    It’s a been a long long time since I was dating, anyone who turns you down and says “sorry you’re too thin” is best avoided to say the least.

    In fact I’m having a difficult time believing you keep hearing it, because it’s so rude.

    • Today@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I believe it. My sons are tall and thin. People say things to them that they would never say to a short or heavy person! When they were younger, older women would offer to buy them food in bars, like they were thin because they were too poor to eat.

      • throwaway@discuss.onlineOP
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        2 months ago

        Be it my weight, face, or my personality, it actually hardly matters. Bottom line: There is an (innerly or outerly) ugly person who only wants to date attractive people, and by that they cannot get a partner. If that’s too much of a stretch for you, then there is no point explaining.

          • throwaway@discuss.onlineOP
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            2 months ago

            Did you even read my post? I am bitter about the fact I can’t find a partner, yes. That’s nobody’s fault. I perfectly understand and accept as to why. But yes I can still be bend out of shape about my loneliness.

    • friend_of_satan@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It could be an excuse to avoid the real reasons. If OP really wants to know the full story, he could ask one of the women who said this to be 100% honest with him about all the reasons she’s not interested.

      • Atlas_@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        That depends a lot on the sort of women he’s approaching. If he’s mostly approaching strangers he probably still won’t get a different real answer - if they’re brushing him off like this there’s a reason and “please be honest” isn’t going to change it.

        This might work with an already good friend that he asked out, but that doesn’t seem to be the situation described.