If not, then what about rarely instead of never?
bro is doing the 3 day no fart challenge 💀
Bro is a c/inflation user
why would you want to give up one of life’s little joys?
The smell after, right? Right, guys?
It’s the flapping of buttcheeks during the fart, my fellow farter.
delet this
I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.
But if you sharted it’d be like napalm.
Stop eating anything with high fructose corn syrup. I promise it works.
I hardly ever fart, the rest of my family are a veritable natural gas factory. I do not eat sugar, or dairy and an vegetarian. Lots of black beans, not magical fruit for me. I never eat processed foods, and hardly ever eat bread or other gluten… I do have pasta once a week or so
Wow.You and I would not get along.
Just because of different foods? You’re a precious one.
Probably because he exudes gases through his pores or something as nothing he said has bearing on farting frequency.
Uhoh. It’s another no poo post
My auntie swore by taking charcoal tablets. We just suspected she’d gone deaf.
Old people don’t fart. Instead of a distinct fart event, it’s more of a constant, low pressure leak.
It’s not possible to never fart but you can do things to reduce gas in your intestines. Here is an article about it. Sounds pretty miserable to me.
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-farting#elimination-diet
The whole30 diet did that and more for me!
If you hold on for a few minutes, it will be absorbed by the colon and go into your bloodstream. Then it will be released into the atmosphere through your skin. Soundlessly and smellessly.
Only a certain amount, you can’t hold everything in.
Trust me, I tried.
That can’t be healthy
Doesn’t the smell come out through your mouth (i.e. literally having fart-breath) if you hold it in, or is that just an urban myth?
Anything animal based like beef and pork. Also your poop will be dark brown and small. Win win
In case you really want to do this, research on how to get into carnivore first. You probably will get the shits first if you get in head on first. But after that, it’s almost no gas and no poop
Im not sure if this is allowed, but I asked chatgpt because I just discovered it and I’m bored:
Flatulence is a natural bodily function and a normal part of the digestive process. It is not possible to eliminate farting completely, as it is a result of gas buildup in the gastrointestinal system. However, certain dietary changes may help reduce excessive gas production and the frequency of flatulence:
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Avoid gas-producing foods: Some foods can cause more gas than others, such as beans, lentils, cabbage, broccoli, onions, carbonated drinks, and certain types of fruits. Limiting or avoiding these foods may help decrease flatulence.
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Eat smaller, more frequent meals: Overeating can lead to increased intestinal gas production. Consuming smaller portions at mealtime and having regular, balanced meals throughout the day can be beneficial.
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Slow down while eating: Eating too quickly can cause swallowing air, leading to increased gas in the digestive system. Take your time to chew food thoroughly and avoid talking while eating.
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Be mindful of food intolerances: Some individuals may have intolerances to certain foods, such as lactose or gluten, which can contribute to excessive gas production. Identifying and avoiding trigger foods can help alleviate symptoms.
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Probiotics: Consuming foods and beverages that contain live cultures of beneficial bacteria (probiotics) may help promote a healthy balance of gut bacteria and reduce digestive issues, including gas. Examples include yogurt, sauerkraut, and kefir.
Remember, occasional flatulence is normal and healthy. If you experience excessive or persistent bloating, discomfort, or changes in bowel habits, it is advisable to consult a medical professional to rule out any underlying digestive conditions or concerns.
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Once you have solved this filthy little secret problem that you’ve been hiding from your loved ones, you can turn your attention to those big greasy turds that you have been producing every day. You flush them away but we know, we can smell the odour of shit and air freshener. We know when the captain starts walking with short strides he’s clearing the poop deck, ready to drop anchor.
